Zune Lotoo Annihilate F-A3 Multi Tool Survival Shovel

• Pivoting shovel head with 6 different positions. 
• Shovelhead that moves from sharp edge to 10mm of thickness capable of withstanding 882 lbs of weight--if you're still on the metric system, that's 400KG.  That's like 2 silverback gorillas stepping on it with 100 lbs of bananas in their arms.  (Showing my work:  2 x 350 lb--weight a silverback plus approximately 1600 bananas or 800 for each gorilla).  
• Tactical Ax in case you are faced with a mountain lion or some other predator angrier than you.  (God made man, but the Zune Lotoo made them equal.  I know it was really Sam Colt that made them equal, but roll with it). 
  
• Chopping for trees, brush, or tomatoes for your campfire stew.  (note: not recommended for tomatoes because that would be like hunting with a tank).
• Lead hole to fasten wire or your paracord when you are running from that angry mountain lion and have to climb a tree. (note: mountain lions climb trees).  
• Chisel point that can unscrew a bolt.  
• With both handles attached this will extend to 24.5", but 655mm sounds better.  This is unlike most multi-tool shovels that only provide a handle with less than 12".  That's not cool when you have to dig a hole--and it puts you 12.5" closer to that mountain lion.  

BUT WAIT!!  It comes with other things!!

• Knife blade that screws into the handle for more detailed cutting.  (Like making scrimshaw...look it up.  Old whalers made this out of whale bones.  Coincidentally, I think the early whalers probably could have used an Annihilate F-A3 when they were at sea.) 
• Magnesium rod to start fires quickly and easily.  
• Camera knob to hold a camera to capture great pics or selfies for your insta / facebook / snap streaks or / twitter.  (ugh, just appealing to the masses.  please don't use it for that).
• Whistle!!!  Yes, a whistle.  When did any field tool you purchased come with a whistle!  Give it to a friend to blow.  He will distract the mountain lion while you getaway!!!